10 TRAITS OF CONFIDENT PEOPLE
We all agree that confidence is a good thing. It is essential to success. On the other hand, it has been said that too much confidence can get you into trouble. The truth is there is no such thing as too much confidence. That kind of “confidence” is actually arrogance. Sometimes it can be difficult to tell the two apart, but the arrogant person will always eventually expose themselves for what they really are.
Confidence – the feeling or belief that you can do something well or succeed at something
Confidence and arrogance are related in that both believe in their ability to accomplish a goal. The difference lies in how they come to this conclusion. The confident person does not come to this conclusion by comparing their abilities to others. They simply know that they have put forth the time and effort required to obtain knowledge and skills necessary to complete the task. The arrogant person comes to their conclusion by comparing their knowledge and skill base to those around them. Rather than placing the importance on what they have done to earn their knowledge or skills, they focus on what others have not done.
Arrogance – an insulting way of thinking or behaving that comes from believing that you are better, smarter, or more important than other people
We should seek to align ourselves with confident people without hesitation. Confident people are givers and takers. They are willing to teach you what they know and want to learn from you as well. Arrogant people will suck the life out of a project, and if you allow them, they will suck the life out of you as well. They will take credit for every good thing accomplished by the team and place blame for every bad thing.
It is important to know how to recognize the differences right away, before you get in too deep. Here are 10 traits that set the confident person apart from the arrogant person. Confident people are:
They are willing to take calculated risks that make sense. When the risk outweighs the benefits they know it is time to say no. An arrogant person wants to shoot for the moon on the off chance that you hit that small possibility of extraordinary success. They can take these risks easily, because if (and when) it fails, they will place the blame on circumstances out of their control or on someone other than themselves.
Confident people are open to suggestions. They are willing to hear what others have experienced to gain new knowledge. They value collaboration knowing that combining a knowledge base leads to creative resolutions that could not come from a single source. An arrogant person believes that they are the source for all knowledge. Should they happen to hear something useful from another person, they are likely to point out the pitfalls publically while the blame can be readily placed on someone else. Once they have had time to test the idea behind closed doors and discover its possibilities, they will find a creative way to reintroduce the information as their own.
Nurturing others ideas promotes forward progress without the fear of humiliation somewhere down the road. A confident person will help others to understand that failure is only an opportunity to learn what does not work and may even open doors for better ideas that do work. Since an arrogant person comes to their high opinion of themselves by continually looking at the negatives of others, they are likely to point out all the reasons an idea will not work, before even considering it. This is partly out of subconscious habit and partly out of not wanting to be shown up by anyone.
There is no reason for a confident person to not forgive you. They realize they have nothing to gain by holding anything over your head. They know that forgiving is essential to moving on and will allow the offending person to grow. An arrogant person has a completely different take on this. They see your mistakes as an opportunity to gain power over you. As long as they hold a grudge they can continue to bring up each little mistake in order to keep you convinced of their superiority over you.
A confident person makes impartial decisions based on what is best for the situation. They keep the end goal in mind. An arrogant person has to make decisions based on what is going to make them look best, rather than what is most likely to achieve the end goal. This sounds counterintuitive, because it is. You would think that an arrogant person would realize that obtaining the desired outcome will make them look the best. However, they are not focused on the big picture. They are solely focused on themselves. It is more important to them that they surround themselves with people who feed their ego and choose options most likely to put them in the spotlight.
A confident person is always actively looking for innovative ways of achieving their goals. They feed energy into a project. An arrogant person believes that they already have all of the answers. Therefore, they put out a lot of energy trying to convince the world of their superiority and push others to do what they want them to do. In the end the reality is they steal your energy. They wear people out by forcing themselves on others and continually deflating them with negative comments.
It is much easier to create positive outcomes when you allow others to come together, rather than pushing them apart. A confident person is willing to take the best contributions, regardless of the source, to create the desired end result; thus, making them more effective. An arrogant person is divisive. They believe that as long as everyone is pointing the finger at everyone else it will be clear that they deserve to be on top. Ultimately, dissension does not produce results; thus, making them less effective.
A confident person is naturally noticeable. They do not put forth any effort, or even think about trying to be noticeable. They go out into the world and just do their thing. People are drawn to them. An arrogant person wants to be noticed. They put a lot of effort into being noticed. They call attention to themselves every chance they get. They fail to realize that ultimately most of that attention is negative. On the rare occasion that they do acknowledge the negative attention, they quickly blame it on the jealousy of others.
A confident person is grateful for the contributions of others and understanding of their circumstances. Even if someone offers an idea that does not fit well or fails in some aspect, they appreciate the other person’s effort. They see the value in encouraging others to continue to contribute. An arrogant person believes that whatever is going on in their world is more important and no one else is capable of performing at their level. They believe that others deserve to be put down when they get in their way or make a mistake. When they are called out for this, they will defend their actions by claiming that is the only way you will ever get people to change.
Without confident people good things do not happen. Confidence is essential to achieving any goal. Arrogant people have only one goal. That is to convince others of their greatness, which makes them lose sight of the real goal. For this reason, they have a lot of war stories packed full of excuses.
The next time you encounter an arrogant person it is probably best to steer clear as much as possible. They talk a good talk and know how to put on the charm, so they tend to land themselves in positions of some authority. Just remember that these people usually do not last long. The truth always has a way of coming out.
Focus on surrounding yourself with as many confident people in as many different situations as you can. These are people that you want in your boat if it starts to sink. There is a pretty good chance that the team will figure out a way to plug up the hole and keep it afloat at least until you can get to shore. The biggest reason will be that everyone in that boat will believe that it can be done and will work together to make it happen.